How To Deal With “Happiness Vampires”

In my last post, we looked at four tips to add more happiness to our lives. One of the tips had to do with staying away from what I call “Happiness Vampires.”

A “Happiness Vampire” is someone who complains, whines about their circumstances and who is, more often than not, just plain negative and pessimistic.

Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I have to tell you this: Spend enough time with me and you’ll hear me complaining or whining every once in a while.

The key phrase here is “every once in a while.”

There’s a big difference between complaining every once and a while and being a serial complainer. Or being negative and pestimistic more often than not.

The former is simply being human.

The latter is what I call a “Happiness Vampire.”

That person will suck the life out of you.

And here’s how to deal with a “Happiness Vampire:”

Hold them accountable for actually doing something to improve what they’re complaining about.

When you’re talking with them, it’s okay to hear them out…to some extent.

But don’t let them go on and on and on and on. Because then, you’re just feeding a vampire!

You have to jump in after a minute or two and ask them what they can do, will do, even if it’s a tiny thing, that will improve their situation.

You have to be consistent, do this every time.

Remember, we train others how to treat us.

So, hold them accountable. Don’t judge them, don’t talk down to them, just hold them accountable.

That’s the secret to dealing with “Happiness Vampires.”

Do this consistently and one of two things will happen: they will take action of some sort and improve the situation they were complaining about…or they will stay away from you.

P.S. A blog reader asked me how to know when it’s time to quit trying to help a “Happiness Vampire.” Obviously there’s no “right” answer to that question. But I ask myself this simple question: Is this person impacting me more than I’m impacting them?

That’s how I decide when it’s time to quit helping a “Happiness Vampire.”

Who else cares to weigh in on this topic? Have a tip or two you’d like to share?

Categorized in: Relationship Mastery, Self-Esteem/Self-Worth