Jack Canfield either originated or popularized the formula E + R = O: Event + Response = Outcome.
The problem is most people respond to a challenging event with an automatic, subconscious response:
E + AR = O: Event + Automatic Response = Outcome.
We could also call our Automatic Response a Conditioned Response.
That explains why so many keep getting the same outcome—they don’t disrupt their automatic subconscious thinking and behavior so they keep doing the same thing and they keep creating the same outcome.
If our automatic response to an event isn’t an empowering response in terms of our thinking and our behaviors, our outcome isn’t going to be so good.
What can we do?
Victor Frankl, M.D. (author of Man’s Search For Meaning) wrote, ” Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Therein lies the challenge.
We have to create the space between a stimulus and response or that space is followed so rapidly by a response that we fail to see there is a space or an opportunity between the stimulus and the response.
So we have to consciously slow the process down.
And to do that requires paying attention to our self-talk and the stories we tell ourselves about any given event.
Otherwise, we don’t even notice that our subconscious mind automatically scripts our self-talk and stories from what it has to work with—our conditioned thinking, beliefs, and stories.
The growth and freedom Frankl points out doesn’t happen by accident.
It has to be intentional. It has to be enacted. It has to be practiced.
The practice of paying attention to and elevating our self-talk, beliefs, and stories isn’t “sexy.”
It can be mundane, boring and tedious at times.
Or it could be exciting, stimulating and exhilarating.
That, of course, depends upon our beliefs, self-talk, and stories about paying attention to and elevating all three!
If I tell myself, “It won’t really make a difference” or “It takes too much work”—you can guess what will happen—I won’t work on my mental game and I’ll keep playing at the same level of my mental game. Nothing changes.
Yet, if I tell myself, “I can change my circumstance by changing my beliefs and stories about it” or “Challenging my self-talk and coming up with more empowering beliefs and stories will give me more power, confidence, and I’ll take the action to give me the results I want”—then things begin to change—because I changed first.
To that end, I suggest this “formula”: E + CR = D O.
Event + Conscious Response (vs. Automatic, Subconscious Response) = Desired Outcome
The Desired Outcome might not happen right away—but the more I respond to a challenging event with Conscious Response vs. an Automatic Response, the more I can experiment with what creates better results until I get the Desired Outcome.
If you want to master this you can start with my book you can get right now on Amazon: http://amzn.to/1iIs8VE
Or you can contact me today about coaching to fast track the whole process of mastering E + CR = D O.
P.S. If you buy my book within the next three days, I have a bonus for you. I’ll give you the section from my mini-course on self-talk for FREE. (This offer is good until the end of January 2018.) I’ll send you the mp3 recording of section on creating powerful self-talk from my mini-course on Enlightened Happiness: Seven Keys to Creating an Exceptional Life that sells for $97.00 here: http://alanallard.com/happiness-course/
All you have to do is email me at alan@alanallard.com and tell me you purchased my book and want the mp3 recording.
P.S. If you’ve already bought my book but don’t have my mini-course, I’ll still send you the mp3 promised above.
Categorized in: Career Success, Life, Mastering Emotions, Mastering Stress & Overwhelm, Prosperity, Self-Esteem/Self-Worth, Self-Improvement
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